Almost Nine

Tomorrow Ryan and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage. It's funny how time passes, some times so slowly... and at times like a blink of the eye. Living the vocation of marriage is not to be taken lightly. It requires death. Which turns out to be something I don't particularly enjoy. Death to selfishness, death to singularity, death to everything that draws me away from the vows that I made before God, before my family and friends, and yes... before Ryan. Death is necessary for love and for life. Without it our marriage would be bereft of both. We would simply be a kind of housemate, living in the same home, but sharing nothing that is necessary for the "lay down your life for a friend" kind of love.

I am so thankful that I have been called to marriage, to loving Ryan. This task has brought to me an awareness of self that I have never known. I am a much more honest sinner, and much more likely to seek forgiveness. I am imperfect, and much less likely to require it of others. I am flawed, this I have learned... but I am also loved.

Our marriage is full of life, because it has been marked by death. We have had to die to the seemingly simple desire to create a new life together, and yet we have risen to accept the honor of raising our sweet blessing, our son John Paul. In all the dying, living, and loving God has been the glue that binds us together. He has given us hope, when all lights seem to have gone out, and he has brought to us the sweetest blessings that any two people have a right to pray for... namely love.